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Mel_Aniv
REVIEW Narration: Decent and immersive Worldbuilding: Vast and detailed Character development: Nice and steady Character design: Outstanding Dialogues: Realistic and Lifelike Pacing: Not fast nor too slow Writing quality: Magnificent Execution of the Genre: Good pitch Story potential: High Updating Stability: Steady MESSAGE Now, this is a novel with eye-catching scenarios. Making me have goosebumps as I read. Splendid executing the novel, not all can do it! Kudos! ADVICE Continue writing and improve more! That's all!
Mel_Aniv
The only thing that I have observed is, there were no periods in some sentences. Make use of it so it will be smoother to read. I recommend you to read published novels of american authors and compare it with yours. You can also use grammarly to finish your work before publishing. You have done a great job of making a wonderful novel and it deserves more attention! I hope yours will become popular in the future. BTW please also review mine called "Waking Up In Undead World" and happy reviewing!
laibaazeem
Before I praise this amazing novel, I'd like the author to consider my suggestion of adding some changes in the synopsis and add some more details in it just to make the story behind the clouds as well as a bit open too. As a reader, I like reading a concise outline of the story before reading a novel, just to save my time from reading something I wouldn't enjoy after. It's not that all of the readers consider that but I do. Secondly, the grammatical errors can be perfected with a little effort and I am sure the author will do best in correcting those in the further chapters. As for me, I don't put writing errors in consideration while writing a review if the story is worthy enough. Thirdly and finally, the background, the world building, the unique war-torn touch is just wonderful and I loved every bit of the word I have read so far.
Chapter 1: Great Awakening: Prologue
I drift off to sleep and my vessel's memory shows me how the world was changed on the day of the Great Awakening and it all began on October 7th, 3659 A.C.
Tritan the treacherous brought the book of the dead and the book of life together, giving him access to the on-chronicle, a book that holds the power to unseal the magic locked away by our fore-fathers. To release magic and the creatures sealed with the magic, he had to sacrifice 95% of the human population to saturate the gizeh corridors in blood to charge and unseal them from the ancestral magic used by our fore-fathers.
October 7th 3659 A.C. 20:00 hours Tritan starts the spell by sacrificing his firstborn at a center point where 5 gizeh corridors connect lat:56.79535 °N lon:120.69141°W Elev: 712 m. By spilling his firstborn's blood he activated the spell and 95% of humanity was sucked dry of their life force and the beast that had been sealed for so long woke up starving and killed half of the survivors and a quarter of the animals before stabilizing the world's food chain.
In the year of 3658 A.C., when a company called soul tech came out with liberty jewels that would be used for combat weapons. If the original soldier died, the liberty jewel would be the heart of the super weapon called war-torns. It solved all wars and instead became humanity saving grace and last hope to maybe one day claim supremacy over these magical beasts once again.
Something happened to the war-torns on the day of the Great Awakening that changed the world as we know it magic was seeped into the souls and bodies of war-torns dividing these simple androids into complex beings that are living and spiritual by the use of magic they became semi-human. It divided them into 6 classes during the Great Awakening, and they are mages, knight, swordsman, rangers, shadows, and shifters.
1. Mages: innate magic abilities, magic perception, and magic gathering. They are one of the 4 dominant classes. They do a lot of the technical stuff and are easily respected in cities.
2. Knights: unending stamina, relentless endurance, basic regeneration. They are one of the 4 dominant classes. They specialize in guarding and fighting the lords of territories and gain ranks easier than the other 3 classes.
3. Swordsman: meditation (provides focus and health), severing slash, and discipline (quicker learner and more insight).one of the higher class swordsmen are highly respected in society. Specialize in killing efficiently and quickly.
4. Rangers: magic shot, eagles eyes, volley strike (AOE arrow volley). they are snipers of the new world. They are the last regular classes but also highly respected for their skills. They only work for the highest bidders or kings.
5. Shadows: shadow stalk, shadow strike and nightmare. This is one of the rarer classes of war-torns. They are assassins and outcasts of the world thought to be corrupt war-torns and driven out of cities and towns.
6. Shifters: they can use abilities of other war-torns that they see for a short time by using copy, devour, and void. They are the rarest of the 6 they are thought to be heroes of the new world and are treated like kings.