"Omnia vincit Amor; et nos cedamus Amori." ,Virgil quoted. Translated from Latin meaning "Love conquers all; let us yield to love.". But what if the love that you are fighting for, would be better off losing to. Would you still fight for love even if God forbids? Are you willing to be shut out of paradise? The story of two lovers who are willing to sacrifice fortune, fame and family for their forbidden love. Welcome to the world of unvieling lies, secrets, sacrifice, and maybe death. Malia Carter and Dylan Haydes, two of the country's famous top models. Would they be able to fight for their secret relationship especially if the one they are into is a sin ? by Kimberly Atienza ©kimathynza®
Hi MAD_COLORS here. I'll give you an honest review and I saw your novel because you promoted it in the forum thread and to be honest I'm not a great writer so each time I read stories like yours is kinda exhilarating. I liked the way you started your chapter : 3 I'm 100% clueless when I read through it. Now that I said what I like, here's what I don't like you started sexually very early on it may appeal to some readers but some might not like it if you give it your own spin to it, I can guarantee that your story will be the best, romance between to people takes time and understanding at least that how I understand it. I liked it and I might continue reading because this is the first romance novel I read and its pretty good. If you want an honest review ask me. I'm not gonna bull**** you by saying "WOW this is good!" I mean in the thread people only wants to read your novel if your read theirs so don't believe the people who give an instant 5 star. KEEP IT UP! I'LL BE CHEERING YOUR NOVEL ON!!!!
"Are you sure about this? I can stop if you want to?" he asked. I'm pretty sure he was hell scared to get caught. Who wouldn't be scared to get caught with what we are doing? I can feel my body sweating so much.
I'm scared too. What if mom comes in. Dang!! We are so dead.
"No. Do not stop. Faster. Come on. Faster, Dylan. There's someone coming," I whisperingly shouted to him.
"I'm going faster here. Malia, I can't reach it," he complained.
"I'm coming. Pull me up. Hurry!" I ran up to him, then he pulled me up to reach the casket. I started to look for it.
"Find it already? This is a completely absurd plan. We should get it when your mom is not here. Not like this," he complained.
"Malia, you left the freaking damn door open," he said panicking.
"Stop panicking, Dylan. I swear I'm gonna kill you if I fall," I warned him. "Found it. Window!" I jumped off his hold and hurriedly ran out the window.
I leaned back off the side wall. Trying to get back my breathing properly. He then followed running.
"What the heck. Malia, I almost got caught," he angrily snorted at me.
"This is a freaking bad idea. Told you we shouldn't have done this. I could feel my heart literally beating out of my chest," he added.
"It's because you're as slow as a turtle. But hey! At least I got it. I got this." I smiled at him and held up my hands showing the purpose of this whole adventure.
"Besides, I love the feeling of thrill. All worth it for this," I told him while holding the heirloom towards his face.
"Yeah. All for that. Pendant," he snorted. I held it back, away from him.
"All for thi-- Oh Fuck!!" I lost my grip on the heirloom which causes it to fall straight to the ground. I looked to see where it fell, and saw Dad coming for it. Probably confused on where it came from, he looked up. I immediately pulled Dylan to lay on the roof.
"What the-- Gah! Malia, my back hurts," he complained.
"Sorry but I had to do that or else we'll get caught," I told him.
"So the pendant?" he asked.
"I dropped it," I honestly answered.
"Yeah. Damn really worth it, right? Told you this is a terrible idea," he teasingly answered.
"Fuck you, Dyl," I answered back, totally pissed.
"Well, I told you so--" I stopped him from whatever he was going to say.
"Shut up. I'm listening," I nagged.
Mom came to meet dad. I heard my father asking her "Why the hell did the heirloom fell from the sky?" Mom answered that she doesn't even know why. That was all I heard. Maybe they went inside the house to discuss things.
"So... " he teased me.
"You don't know how important that heirloom is, do you? You think I'd be doing this just for a stupid pendant," I told him.
"Well, it is your fault. You dropped it." Oh! tell me, why did I even fall for this guy. I glared at him.
"Okay, sorry. If that pendant does really mean everything to you. I'll get it. Okay, but not right now. Let's go to your room," he said slightly laughing, and we went to my room.
"It's an heirloom. Dyl, don't you even know what an heirloom is?" This guy is unbelievable.
"Yeah. I know what it is." Well, for once at last, he did know something.
"This heirloom is passed on through generations. This is from my grandmother, she gave it to my grandfather; he passed it to mom, and mom gave it to dad. I have overheard mom and dad talking about me. They are fixing up my marriage with someone. And this heirloom will be given to the guy that their child, which is me, is going to marry. So right now, this is my dad's possession and once he passes this to me, I'll have to give this to the man I will marry. Heaven knows I want that man to be you, and not just some other man," I told him the reason why I want to get it from my father.
"That's it. Let us tell them the truth," he answered bluntly.
"The truth will set us free?" I started to raise my voice. "Definitely not in our case. Are you out of your mind, Dyl? In our situation, it will not set us free. It will never set us free."
Several knocks startled us out.
"Is everything okay, Malia? Dylan? " Mom asked from outside.
"Yeah, mom! We were just watching a movie," I answered.
"Oh, before I forgot. Dylan, before you come home we're gonna need a talk. I need you to tell something to your father," mom shouted.
"Yup, Aunt Liz, I understand," he answered back.
"Don't forget, Dylan," she reassured.
Silence filled the room. We're just both laying on my bed.
What we are doing is wrong, but we love each other.
My hands felt suddenly warm. I looked at it, and there I saw it intertwined with hand of the last person I know I will ever love.
Dylan Haydes, my cousin.
I looked up to his face. He was looking at me intently. He gripped tightly on my hand for a second.
"We're gonna make it. I promise. We're into this together," he said for assurance.
I know. I know we'll make it.
I know that what I'm feeling is true. I know I found it in my love for him.
I can feel him leaning closer. Close until our face was just a few centimeters away. I can feel his hot breath making me unable to focus on what was happening around us. All I know at that moment is that I am enduring to the taste of his lips. I gave up when I finally felt the soft lips that I was longing for. Every second felt like hours, but I still crave for it to be longer. My hand made its way up to his nape. He then got up and went over me without parting our lips.
"Should we?" I heard him mumbled through the kiss.
"Not with them here," I said gasping for air.
"Hmmmokay," I heard him answer, but that didn't stop us from exploring each others mouth. We could be doing this every time, every second.
If it wasn't for interruptions. Interruptions like that one. Disturbance. I could feel his phone vibrating on his pants.
"Get it," I pushed him.
"Noo. No don't mind it. It's nothing more important than those lips," he answered, and literally smashed his lips back on to mine. I responded hungrily as ever. I felt him get his phone and put it on my side table. I got fed up from the sound of it vibrating.
"As much as I would really love to make out with you, I think you should answer it. It seems important," I told him. He answered the call with his arched eyebrows. As soon as he ended the call, he kissed me. Just a smack one.
"Dad needs me. I need to go now," he said, and got off my bed.
"I made a terrible idea, telling you to answer that call," I told him.
"You could come to my place later," he answered.
"Do expect me there," I told him as I did a sexy pose on my bed.
I seductively smiled at him. He ran up to me to give me another smack.
"I'll be expecting there. I need to go. I love you," he answered, and ran out of my room.
I told mom I was going to Dylan's place. She doesn't mind. As long as she knows where I'm going. Well, of course, she would let me. It is Dylan, my cousin.
He has his own place, separate from his parents just three blocks away from my place.
"Hey there, Malia. Please come in," he greeted smiling through the door. As soon as I walk in, he locked the door behind me. He leaned his arms against the door to lock me in.
"I love you, Dyl." As if that's the cue, his eyes started to hover over my body, my lips. Thinking of something naughty. I did a freaking seductive lip bite, which did really work. Reunited with his soft lips feels like heaven. Not until he moved his lips onto my neck. I felt my knees go weak. Guarded by his hands, he did not let my body fall down.
"I have something for you," I heard him whisper.
"Oh. Gaah. What is it?" I asked unable to refrain myself from moaning.
"This." I felt something on my hands.